I have struggled for years to find balance. A balance between starving myself and eating. A struggle between working out for 2 hours and feeling horrible the next day, to doing a gentle yoga practice that nurtures my mind, body and spirit.
I have finally come to some kind of peace with my diet, fitness, weight and overall health. This peace started with being OK where ever I am. If I am overweight or not it shouldn’t affect my love for myself. As a matter of fact, I need to love myself as I am in order to be able to work on eating well and finding a fitness balance.
Each of us is different and we need to find the path that works best for us individually. I am, for the most part, a couch potato. I love to read, research and do “techie” things like fix computers and solve complex software problems.
Walking, running or working out has seemed like a waste of precious time. I am in awe of people who love to do outdoors stuff. Who say they get a runners high and who live for getting out for their daily run. I on the other hand, ran miles and miles for years and years and never felt that high. I actually never enjoyed one mile of it, yet I kept doing it. Why? I ask myself that now. Why did I spend all those years on an activity that I really did not in any way enjoy?
I did it because it kept the weight off. I did it because I had things on my bucket list that required it. I have run marathons, completed triathlons, run many a half marathon and shorter distances. I found eventually, that I needed to run more and more to keep the weight off. I also could eat less and less. The cardio wasn’t working like it did when I started and it was frustrating. I stopped completely.
This led me to focus more on my yoga practice. This practice has always resonated with me, and has never felt like wasted time. Even finding 10 minutes in my day to practice sun salutations or warrior poses was helpful. It has always helped me to find my center and my peaceful place. Although it is a practice involving my body, it is also a practice that touches my mind and my spirit. I need to be in touch with how I feel to find ease in my practice.
As I stepped away from the extended cardio exercise and focused more on yoga, some weight creeped back on. I still felt extremely strong and flexible, so I needed to make peace with that. A little resistance training added in is helping with that, along with a little daily cardio just to get my heart rate up and get me outside for a bit. I needed to find the balance to find the peace. I also now walk half marathons with friends. Just for the pure joy of getting out there and completing the distance. Not to win anything or to prove anything, just to enjoy time with friends and perhaps help out a worthy cause.
Food is another great challenge. I have the metabolism to not be able to eat much, and still carry extra weight. I am finally finding some solace in knowing that I feed my body well, with healthy options. I limit all white grains, I source good meat, eggs and produce and I cook from scratch. We rarely go out to eat (side note here: owning a restaurant helps this, especially since we feel our food is superior to what you get at most restaurants, so it just doesn’t seem worth it to eat lesser quality and have to pay more for it!!)
I have learned to understand when I am full and stop there. I am also working on emotional eating, which has always been a struggle for me. For the first time ever, over this last winter, I lost control of my drinking. Intense grief and being alone all winter working in a dark, upstairs office, led me to let wine be my friend. Not a good plan, and luckily one I recognized early and got under control. An entire blog post will be dedicated to that bleak time in my life as soon as I am ready for it. For now, just know, that it can be overcome, but it is a challenge.
So, if you feel overwhelmed with your fitness or eating and are not sure where to turn, can I help you? I would love to offer insight and help you find your balance and peace. Have you ever ordered a fitness program, started at a gym or tried a class and been so discouraged that you just gave up? Please let me help you start where YOU are! We can talk about your likes and dislikes, find out what types of activities resonate with you, how much time you have available, what foods you enjoy and what your goals are. Then we can work on a plan that fits you personally, not something out of a box, or that works for someone else. We also can find a plan that works long term, not just while you are losing weight or getting fit, but one that works for your lifestyle.
Are you ready? Let’s talk.
Have a great day,
YogaJen
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